Stay With Me
by squeakyfingers
Summary: Hiatus may continue/re-write Chapter 11 added. After a tough case, one CSI turns to the other for comfort. But will it change their relationship forever? GC
1. A Shoulder to Cry On

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters of CSI. You hear that CBS?? Yea I don't own them, so why don't you get off my back and stop calling me? I am a poor broke senior in high school with nothing to do over my summer but write, so just let me enjoy it! He he, anyway I also do not own the song "Lullaby", it is written and performed by Creed.

**Authors Note:** Another short story to try to ease the writer's block I am having with my other story. Enjoy!

Stay With Me 

            It had been a long shift for the CSI team, but the case had been wrapped up. Both mentally and physically, tired the team retreated to their respective cars to head home. He spotted Catherine across the lot, slowly following her to her car. He was worried about her. He knew what cases like this did to her. It was a man who would get his kicks raping and then killing harmless little girls, leaving them lying alone in dumpsters. Whenever a case involved child, it got to all of them. But he knew that Catherine was hurting the most. He knew she pictured her precious daughter being tortured by the killers' tough, blood soaked hands. Gently he laid his hand on her shoulder. For a moment there was complete silence, but still he could feel her body trembling beneath his touch.

_Hush my love now don't you cry,_

_Everything will be alright,_

_Close your eyes and drift in dream,_

_Rest in peaceful sleep_

            He felt her body shift as she turned around to face him. There was an unspeakable sadness in her eyes. Her face was red, puffy, and wet with tears. Tears that no one was supposed to see. But she could hide no secrets from him. He read her emotions like a book.  It was something he had been able to do ever since they had met.

            No words were spoken in those few moments. None were needed. Ever so slowly he moved his hand down her arm, entwining his fingers in hers. Affection or caring, in any form, was uncommon for him, and she knew it. However, he saw a fresh set of tears forming and could not bear to see her unhappy. It wrenched at his heart. Encircling his arms around her waist, he pulled her into his protective embrace.

_If there's one thing I hope I showed you,_

_If there's one thing I hope I showed you,_

_Hope I showed you, just give love to all_

_Just give love to all_

Standing in the cool Las Vegas morning, he comforted her until the last tears had dried. He knew she couldn't go home by herself in the state she was in, nor did he think that she wanted too. Without a thought he led her to his SUV and they sped off to his apartment. He decided when they arrived, to give her the bed; her tired petite form still trembling. She fell asleep almost instantaneously. A small smile crept up his face as he watched her sleep. Then he covered her with a blanket that was laying at the foot of the bed, closed the curtains, shut the light off, and slipped silently out of the room.

Oh my love, in my arms tight, 

_Everyday you give me life,_

_As I drift off to your world,_

_Rest in peaceful sleep_

Returning to the living room, he kicked his shoes off and lay down on the couch. He tried to sleep but visions of Catherine filled his thoughts. No matter how hard he tried, he could not stop worrying about her. Its not like he hadn't helped her before. There were countless times she'd come to his apartment and slept on the couch to avoid Eddies' wrath. But this was different. She had not shone up at his door; there was no Eddie to escape. He had taken the initiative; he had led her here. Something had changed. No not something; someone. Himself; he had changed.

As much as she had needed him over the years, he needed her just as much. She understood him in a way that no one else could. They had been there for each other through it all. He had always cared for her, but there were always obstacles. She was married, off limits, taken; but now she wasn't. With this new revelation, he realized he couldn't live without her. He loved her with all his heart and soul.

He was snapped out of his thoughts; he heard a whimpering coming from the bedroom. Catherine was thrashing in the bed when he entered. She was screaming, trapped in her nightmare. He rushed over to the bed, throwing his arms around her, holding her tightly. Her clothes were wrinkled and sweat-soaked.  She was calming down now, her breath becoming less rapid, more rhythmic. He kissed the top of her head letting her rest in his arms.

"Stay with me Gil" she muttered to him sleepily.

 *Always Catherine * he thought to himself. Always.

_I know there's something that you showed me_

_I know there's something that you showed me_

_That you showed me, just give love to all_

_Just give love to all, let's give love to all_

_Let's give love to all, just give love to all_

TBC.


	2. My So Called Emotions

A/N: Thanks to Marita- You are the best beta ever, coo-coo-ka-choo! Karin- you're an s/g shipper who without doubts reads my c/g fanfics and enjoys them. Knowing that makes my day just a little bit brighter. Jennifer- your encouragement does worlds for my sometimes bruised ego. And thanks to all of you who read and reviewed this story when it first came out. 

Chapter Two- 

My So Called Emotions

            Catherine awoke to an unfamiliar arm lying aimlessly across her chest. The sun was seeping through the slightly open curtains. It felt nice to wake up in someone's arms, well it did until she realized the arms she was wrapped in were in fact Gil Grissom's. Now wide-awake, she tried to recall the events of the previous night, cringing at the thought of them. He had managed to force down her barricades in ways no one else had been able to do. Now they lay crumbled at her feet. Scattered and discarded as if they were nothing.

            Gently she placed Grissom's hand at his side and slipped out from under the covers. She had to get away, fast.  She couldn't face this, not now. She could not shake the feeling of being so vulnerable, so open to Grissom. Swiftly but silently she searched for her keys and purse. Spotting them on the counter, she grabbed them only to realize moments later that her car was still parked back at CSI.

            "Making a fast exit Catherine?" she turned to see Grissom standing in the bedroom doorway. Walking towards the stereo and turning it on, his eyes stayed fixed on hers. 

            "I…uh..well. I just…" Casting her eyes downward, she felt his gaze burning into her. Unsure of what to do next, she edged her way to the table attempting to put as much space between them as she could. Her tongue was thick with saliva, her palms sweaty. ***Please Gris, don't do this, I can't handle this*** she thought to herself. She was scared, cornered, her emotions bare to the world.

            "Cath. We need to talk. About last night, about what happened between us."

            "Gris…I need to get home. Eddie is picking Lindsey up from school today and I don't want her to come home to an empty house."

            "Don't go. Stay, just for a minute. I promise I won't take up that much of your time. I can give you a ride back to CSI when we're done; your car's still parked there. Please, don't shut me out."  

            "Grissom. I…I just can't. Not now. Not ever." She saw him flinch when the words came out of her mouth. It hurt him somewhere deep down; she knew it would. Inwardly she cursed herself for saying such a comment to him. 

~ Never doubt, never look back. That's how I live my life~

            But she had doubts; she had regrets; and she knew she would regret this moment for the rest of her life. She tried to block it out, but it was there. She tried to take her mind off of the pain and guilt, listening to mellow sounds of the stereo, but it leered back her; the words searing her heart.

_I let you down_

_Let me pick you up_

_Let me climb up you to the top_

_So I can see the view from up there_

_Tangled in you hair_

_I let you down_

_I have no lid upon my head_

_But if I did_

_You could look inside and see what's on my mind_

_You could look inside and see what's on my mind_

_I let you down, Oh, forgive me_

_You give me love_

_Let me walk with you, maybe I could say_

_Maybe talk with you, open up_

_And let me through_

_Don't walk away_

_Don't walk away_

_I have no lid upon my head_

_But if I did                       _

_You could look inside and see what's on my mind_

_You could look inside and see what's on my mind_

_How could I be such a fool like me?_

_I let you down_

_Tail between my legs_

_I'm a puppy for your love_

_I'm a puppy for your love  
  
_

_I have no lid upon my head  
But if I did  
You could look inside and see what's on my mind, oh it's you  
I let you down  
I'm a puppy for your love  
I'm a puppy for your love  
  
_

Forgive me  
Forgive me  
Forgive me  
I let you down

            "Griss...I…uh…I didn't realize you liked the Dave Matthews Band." It was a meager attempt to change the subject and lighten the ever present tension in the room. It was a safe topic, one that wouldn't lead to their talking about the events of the previous night. "I thought all you listened too was Bach and Beethoven."

            "It's a good release for me." he replied bluntly. "In all truth, I like them because you like them."  It was a simple statement. One tiny statement that spoke worlds about his feelings towards her. She couldn't help but feel guilty. He was bearing his soul to her in a very un-Grissom like fashion. Hot, stinging tears were forming in her eyes. She tried to hold them back but they flowed down her cheek in an endless sea of sorrow. A now concerned Grissom rushed over to her.

            "Catherine, are you alright? What's wrong?" 

            "Nothing Grissom! I'm fine, ok?" her small tears now breaking out into full- blown sobs. " I can't do this Gris, don't make me do this. It's to hard."  His hand was on her shoulder and she fiercely swatted it off as she backed away from him. 

            "Why are you pulling away from me Catherine?" he asked, his voice full of anger and concern. 

            "Because I have too." She replied in a child-like manner. For each step he took towards her, she took one step back.

            "No, you don't. Just tell me, what's so hard?"

            "Love."  And she ran out the door; leaving a shell-shocked Grissom standing stupefied in his kitchen, sounds of Dave Matthews Band playing softly from the stereo.

To be continued….

Special note: Michmak- I read your story "VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAR" and it inspired me to keep this going. It sort of made me wonder about what if Catherine was put in Grissom's position, becoming sort of closed off from everyone else. And what if Grissom was the one who wanted to start the relationship…anyway thanks for keeping me inspired.

--I am not sure if you all were thinking this was the direction I was going to take but I hope you still enjoyed it. PS: the song is called "Let You Down" and it's off of Crash by Dave Matthews Band. It's an awesome song and a fantastic album, one of their best.


	3. Ask A Simple Question, Get A Simple Answ...

A/N: Here's chapter three.  Word to Pete Yorn for writing such an awesome song. It's called "On Your Side" and it's from the cd "MusicForTheMorningAfter". Thanks for all the positive reviews you guys are giving me. I know this a different almost "AUish" direction that I am taking and I am glad that you guys are enjoying reading it just as much as I am enjoying writing it. Thanks to Marita as usual for your continued support. And thanks to Ann for pre-reading the first part of the story for me. Jennifer and Karin- You guys read everything I write so kudos to you. If I left anyone out, thank you too!

Summary: Grissom's contemplating the situation and comes to a realization while visiting the most unlikely of places.

Chapter Three- Ask a simple question, get a simple answer.

~ ~ ~

_I'm outside your house, _

_2 am it's dark, _

_So many mistakes,_

_Come back home from bars._

_~ ~ ~_

            Gone. Where in the hell had she gone? Her house. He knew it was at least seventeen blocks in the opposite direction from his. If he took his Tahoe he might be able to catch up with her. _* Go after her damnit *_ a voice shouted angrily in his head.  _* Let her Go! * _ Another fired back.  A mass confusion bombarded his brain, bringing on an unwanted, unneeded migraine. Moving slowly to the kitchen he grabbed a pill bottle and a glass off of the shelf. Lying down on the couch he knew he'd been a fool to confront Catherine like that. His advances had scared her, backed her into a corner. 

_           **"Grissom. I…I just can't. Not now. Not ever."**_

            Those words they ripped his heart to shreds. He couldn't help but be hurt by them. At the time he thought it was a comment blurted out in the heat of the moment, but now he wasn't so sure. In some small way he had always felt a little overwhelmed by her presence. Her personality shined like an aura around her; a beacon that could be seen for hundreds of miles. Knowing the full power of her words she was always careful, never saying something that she didn't mean, or would regret in the future. Maybe she really had meant what she said.

~ ~ ~

_I am on your side,_

_I just want to tell_

_You off._

~ ~ ~

Anger boiled until it overcame him. Clenching his fists he pushed himself off of the couch and headed for the door. Driving always helped him clear his head, much in the same way that roller coasters did. The night air was chilly as Grissom walked out of his townhouse to his Tahoe parked nearby. Climbing in and putting the key into the ignition the car roared to life. 

~ ~ ~

So many lies, 

_Are taking hold,_

_It's not your fault,_

_There's many scars._

_~ ~ ~_

            The city. The lights. The people. The glamour. They were all out tonight as he drove down the strip. Grissom had no clue where he was headed, the drive itself enough to relieve some of the fire building within him. Soon the lights were fading into darkness, and residential houses with their painted mailboxes and white fences peppered the landscape. He was now driving along W. Lake Mead Boulevard. Without even thinking he had led himself here. 

            Stopping in front of a lone house near the end of the street, Grissom got out of his Tahoe and shut the door.  Lush green landscape surrounded the beautiful one story home. Even from the street he could see the reflection of the evening sun bouncing off the pool in the side yard. A large circular driveway led one up to the front door. It was so secluded, so alone, as if nothing in the world could take away the breathtaking sight of it.  8548 W. Lake Mead Boulevard, Catherine's home.

_~ ~ ~_

_I am on your side,_

_It's taken me a long time_

_I am on your side_

_And I listen…_

_Yeah, I listen_

_~ ~ ~_

            The lights were off and Grissom debated whether or not he should walk up to the door. Two steps forward, three steps back. His head and his heart could not make a decision; the porch seemed so close and yet at the same time so far.  It was now getting close to eight p.m. Shift started at eleven. If he could just work up the nerve to knock on the door, Grissom knew that he could get things smoothed over in time to make it to CSI without the rest of the group suspecting that anything had ever happened

For a mere split second, the chill of the doorknob washed over his hand. A cold, frightening, exhilarating, lonely chill.  Something Grissom had never experienced before. Something foreign. Then jerking it back and stuffing it in his pockets, he glanced at it one more time before turning back in the direction of the Tahoe. 

_*Why is this so difficult* _he wondered taking a long glance back towards the house.

_*"She doesn't love you…She doesn't love you…" _a tiny voice cackled in his ears. A familiar voice.It started off small and slowly raised its voice until Gil could no longer bear to look at Catherine's home. Too much pain, to many memories. Why hadn't he heard it before? His head was telling him something that his heart had just refused to believe. But now he understood. Now he was listening.

_~ ~ ~_

_Can you listen? _

_Now I am listening_

_I am on your side_

_It's taken me a long time_

_~ ~ ~_

            He could hear the screams echoing in his head as he drove away from the house. Fading away slowly. For a place so beautiful on the surface, darkness lurked beneath.

 After it was all said and done; her pain; her cries; her scars were still there. 

            _* "**You got burned bad huh? Welcome to the club."***_

            Her burns were still there. Now that was evident to Grissom.  She hadn't moved on yet. And recalling the fight they had had earlier, Grissom wondered if she ever would. 

_~ ~ ~_

_I am on your side…_

_And I listen_

_Yeah I listen_

_Can you listen?_

_Now I am listening,_

_I am heading out tonight,_

_And I listen._

_~ ~ ~_

To Be Continued… 

Ahh…the end of chapter three and it feels so good. Tell me what you think of it! Chapter four coming soon to a fanfiction site near you!


	4. Wise Children

Stay With Me  
Chapter Four- Wise Children  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
You and I got something  
But it's all and then it's nothing to me  
And I got my defenses  
When it comes to your intentions for me  
And we wake up in the breakdown  
Of the things we never thought we could be  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
  
"Mommy?"  
  
"Yea Linds?" Catherine desperately tried to wipe the tears away from her face as her daughter entered the room.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Of course baby." Clamoring up onto the couch, Catherine wrapped her arms around her daughter.   
  
"Why were you crying?"  
  
"Mommy just had a little argument with Uncle Gil."  
  
"Did he mess up again?"   
  
"No honey, actually I think it was me that messed up."  
  
"You?"  
  
"Yes. Me."  
  
"You should apologize."  
  
"You think you know everything huh?" Inwardly Catherine chuckled at the seriousness on Lindsey's face. In the light, her face had a look of complete concern. Worried eyes gazed into hers and she wondered when her daughter had suddenly become so wise. "Well I think, it's time for someone to get to bed..."  
  
"Alright...but mommy?"  
  
"Yea hun?"  
  
"Are you sure you are alright?"  
  
"Yea."  
  
"And you're gonna apologize to uncle Gil?"  
  
"We'll see Lindsey. Now scoot..." her hands waving Lindsey off of the couch. "Put your Pj's on and I will there in a minute to tuck you in."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
I'm not the one who broke you  
I'm not the one you should fear  
What do you got to move you darling  
I thought I lost you somewhere  
But you were never really ever there at all  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Grissom gazed down the halls of CSI. No Catherine. He checked the lab and the layout room. No Catherine. And as he entered the break room, he counted three CSI's not four. Sighing he took his place at the table and began rifling through the newly acquired case files.   
  
"Sara.... Nick. Single homicide...whi-"  
  
"Hey Grissom, shouldn't we wait for Catherine. She's not here yet," Sara proclaimed.  
  
" I know. She is... she's sick. I told her to take the night off, rest up, and be back to work tomorrow."  
  
"Oh, Ok Grissom."  
  
"Now, as I was saying...Sara and Nick you're on the single homicide-female, Caucasian, id unknown. Warrick you're with me."  
  
* * * *  
  
"Hey Nick...Wait up!" A voice shouted from down the hall. Glancing backwards Nick chuckled and sped up as Sara chased him down the corridor. After about a minute he slowed his pace down considerably until she was beside him.   
  
"Someone needs to walk a little faster, eh slow poke Sara?"   
  
"Very funny. I should hang you out to dry for that one." She swatted his arm sharply as they continued towards the parking lot.  
  
"I am not the one running down the hallway."  
  
"If you really want to know, I was trying to talk to Grissom."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know. Something just doesn't feel right. The way he spoke - a little less detached, a little more human. Almost as if he had something on his mind." She stopped for a moment, noticing Grissom with Warrick in the layout room.  
  
"Sara, this is Grissom we're talking about here." Cocking his head to one side and locking his eyes with hers, he pulled her slowly forward.  
  
"But did you see the way he looked at me when I mentioned Catherine?"  
  
"No, actually I didn't."  
  
"Hmpp...men!"  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
And I want to get free talk to me  
I can feel you falling  
And I wanted to be all you need  
Somehow here is gone  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The fireplace crackled as heat radiated from it. The lights had been turned down, the room nearly pitch black, save the glow from the fire. Catherine, after tucking Lindsey in and kissing her good night, had returned to her spot on the couch. Curled up in a ball rocking back and forth, she contemplated the events of the day. Tears fell freely once again as she recalled her argument with Grissom. The pensiveness. The tension. The hurt. She had yelled at him. At Grissom. She had hurt him. It made her ache so badly she could cry forever.  
It was such a simple statement. Apologize. And yet it seemed so incredibly difficult. Funny how much clearer things were to a child. So much more cleanly cut. There was right and there was wrong. There was good and there was bad. No gray area existed in the mind of a child. If they got hurt, the pain came and went. An hour later the tears had dried and they were back playing once again.  
At first she had been angry with him. Angry that he had pressured her to tell him what was wrong; what scars she kept hidden from him. The deep dark secrets that she had desperately tried to forget. Then her anger had turned into fear. Fear that he would some how figure her out; break down her barriers. It made her paranoid to think that he might somehow be able to wiggle his way into her heart. Or that maybe he already had.  
The phone was now in her hand. How it had gotten there she had no idea. But her index finger slowly punched in Grissom's cell phone number, hoping he would pick up. It rang four times before the voice mail kicked in.   
  
"You have reached the number 465-1289, the customer you are trying to reach is currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the tone or press one for more options."  
  
"Gris...I mean Gil. Damnit, why couldn't you just pick up...we uh, we need to talk. About what happened. Please, just meet me...if you get this message I will be on my way to CSI. We can talk when I get there. I'm so-." She tried to finish but ran out of time before the voicemail ran out. Wiping her eyes and grabbing her coat, she got her neighbor to watch Lindsey while she was gone. The elderly lady, Mrs. Timbers had even offered to let Catherine borrow her car. Soon she was speeding off in the direction of CSI.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
I have no solution  
To the sound of this pollution in me  
And I was not the answer  
So forget you ever thought it was me  
  
I'm not the one who broke you  
I'm not the one you should fear  
What do you got to move you darling  
I thought I lost you somewhere  
But you were never really ever there at all  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Grissom and Warrick were nearly done processing the scene at Tangiers. Grissom had turned his phone off so that he would not get distracted, or rather more distracted than he already was. His own thoughts had provided distraction enough that night.  
  
"Gris...Grissom!"  
  
"Huh? Warrick?"  
  
"I finished processing the room. Prints on the wine glasses by the bedside table ...and Riley's got a witness."  
  
"I am finished here. Let's get back to the lab and see what we come up with." Clicking his phone on as he left the casino, he noticed the voicemail box flashing; two new messages. Recognizing the first number as Brass's, he punched the number in and waited.  
  
"Brass."  
  
"Hey Brass. It's Grissom."  
  
"Damnit Grissom, why don't you ever answer your phone?"  
  
"I'm at a scene. I had it turned off. Where are you?"  
  
" You would already know, if you had left your phone on." Though he was trying to yell Grissom noticed the tone in Brass' voice had softened considerably.  
  
"What's going on? Where are you? What happened?"  
  
"Gil, it's about Catherine."  
  
"Catherine?" The case he was holding dropped sharply to the ground, banging loudly against the pavement. He stood still, numbly waiting for Brass to continue.  
  
"Grissom...I am on the corner of East Ogden and 6th Street. There's been an accident...Grissom?"  
  
Stiffly Grissom hung up. In the dark the screen of the cell phone was still lit, piercing the darkness. The voicemail box was still flashing new message. Looking down, Grissom read the number. He recognized it immediately; it was Catherine.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
And I don't need the fallout of all the past  
That's here between us  
And I'm not holding on  
And all your lies weren't enough to keep me here  
  
And I want to get free talk to me  
I can feel you falling  
I know it's out there  
I know it's out there  
I can feel you falling  
I know it's out there  
I know it's out there  
Somehow here is gone  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
A/N: This chapter was extremely fun to write, I hope you all liked it. Thanks to, Angie, Autumn, and Marita for beta reading this for me. And to Ann, Karin, Maud for reading it and sending me all that positive feedback I am already working on chapter 5, due mostly in part to Ann's nagging (lol). So thank her if these next chapters come out quicker than the others did! BtW, the song is called "Here is Gone" by the Goo Goo Dolls. 


	5. On the Wings of a Prayer

_Thanks_: I think I should thank Sarah McLachlan…the song was such an inspiration. Also thanks to Marita, Autumn, and Angie for beta-reading for me.  And to Jennifer, Maud, and Karin for the wonderful feedback.  Somehow the fic gods were with me on this one. So thank them too.

_Special Thanks:_  To Ann for being so wonderfully inspirational and helpful. Many an idea were exchanged over IM about this chapter. We researched, we laughed, we compared chapter titles, we planned out the rest of the fic, we cried knowing it was going to have to end, and then we laughed some more. So all hail my newly acquired muse, Ann!

Stay With Me

Chapter Five- "On the Wings of a Prayer"

_~ ~ ~ ~_

_A mirror blackened sky_

_Far beyond the glaring street lights_

_Sleeping on empty dreams_

_The vultures lie in wait_

_ ~ ~ ~ ~_

Grissom didn't know what was worse; the argument he had had with Catherine, or the guilt he harbored for missing her phone call. She was going to talk to him and he had missed it. Somehow he felt as if he was completely responsible.

 Squinting briefly in the direction of the Tahoe, he noticed the strange looks Warrick was giving him.  Anxiously Grissom picked up his case and headed for the vehicle.  Throwing it in the back seat and firing up the engine he made a hard left out onto the strip.

"Um…Gris, CSI is the other way." Warrick pointed as they made a hard right.

"We aren't going to CSI." 

"Then where exactly are we going? I thought you wanted to get this stuff to Greg."

 Grissom did not speak. Weaving through the traffic, he just drove, leaving Warrick's questions hanging in the air. 

In the distance sirens could be heard. The blinking of ambulance lights grew steadily nearer. Brass was on the street corner speaking with a couple that looked to be distraught. Halting the car abruptly and jumping out, Grissom caught the tail end of what appeared to be an eye-witness account.

"-Barreling from the corner—over there." A woman, who looked to be about sixty, explained to Brass.

"Brass."

"Excuse me miss." Side-stepping the couple he made his way over to Grissom.

"Grissom. Where the hell have you been?"

"What happened? Is she alright?"

"I don't know."

"Wait! How is who?" a slightly out of breath Warrick joined them after having run after Grissom.

"Catherine."

"Catherine? I thought she was at home, sick?"

"She was."  Grissom didn't know what to tell his two confused coworkers.  He wanted to tell them but the isolated private part of his mind begged otherwise. 

_~ ~ ~ ~_

You lay down beside me then 

_You were with me, every waking hour_

_So close I could feel_

_Your breath…_

_~ ~ ~ ~_

            "Well if she was at home, then why was she driving? And how did she end up here?" The expression on Warrick's face had turned from angry to concerned in a half a second.

            "We don't know yet. Hopefully Catherine will be awake to tell us that." Brass replied.

            "Awake?" The world began to close in on Gil Grissom. The glitz of the Vegas lights now seemed dull; the sounds now seemed harsh and angry.

            "Medics found her unconscious in her car. The suspect- one Jared Ardler, ran the red light over there-" Brass pointed across the four lane street.  "and hit Catherine's car as she was going through the light- here. Impacting on the drivers' side." 

            "Maximum impact."  Grissom speculated.

            "Yea. And I can tell you one thing, that man's about as sober as I am pretty. Got within six feet of the guy and could practically taste the whiskey."

            "Do Nick and Sara know what has happened?"

            "They were at the lab processing the samples from their single homicide when I contacted them. Sara's meeting the ambulance at St. Joseph's Memorial and Nick is on his way here."

            "Good, Warrick, tell Nick to get on those photos when he gets here. You check the Tahoe and then tow it to C.S.I."

            "Got it boss, but what are you doing?" Warrick asked raising his eyebrow.

            "I am going to the hospital. Someone has to talk to this Jared Adler. Finish processing and then call me." Grissom felt as if he was suffocating. He couldn't get away fast enough to go check on Catherine. In the car, for the first time since he was a boy, he prayed to God that she was all right. 

_~ ~ ~ ~_

_When all we wanted was the dream_

_To halve and to hold_

_ That precious little thing_

_Like every generation yields_

_A new born hope unjaded by the years._

_~ ~ ~ ~_

She was sitting in the waiting room staring at the floor. Loudly her foot tapped against the side of the chair. Next to her was a small blonde haired girl of about seven whom Gil recognized immediately. Focusing on the two, it seemed as if time somehow moved slower around them.  As if they, just like himself were standing still in a lifetime of mass confusion.

            "Any news yet?"

            "Geez! Grissom, you scared me!"

            "Sara…."

            " You know you shouldn't sneak up on a person like that. Right Lindsey?" Sara asked the little girl next to her.

            "Uncle Grissom!"

            "Hey Lindsey Binsy." She shrieked with joy as he hoisted her into his arms and smiled at her. A quick glance over to Sara and he knew she was distracting him from the original topic.

            "I missed you!"

            "Well, you know, I missed you too. But right now I need to talk with Sara in private…if that's all right with you."

            "Can I get something from the vending machine?"

            "Sure." He forked over a dollar to her and she headed off down the hall. "Sara. You never answered my question."

            "And what question would that be?"

            "You know what."

            "They haven't told me much."

            "Then tell me what you do know."

            "Well they took her into surgery about an hour ago…they didn't even tell me what it was for. I…I saw her Grissom. They wheeled her in here and I saw her. She doesn't look good."  Her voice was shaky as she spoke the words, as if she was unsure of how Grissom would react to the news.

            "Is there a doctor here? One that I can speak with?"

            "I haven't been able to flag one down yet. In fact most of them blow past me like I don't even exist… hey Grissom?"

            "Yeah?"

            "You know why Catherine was in that car don't you? I mean, I was under the impression that she was at home sick."

            "She was."

            "But that doesn't make any sense."

            "A lot of things don't make sense. Such is the way of life." He replied, in a tone very similar to the one he used when rambling off some obscure haiku.

            "I don't believe that."

            "Believe what?"

            "That. You. Your attitude. I don't believe you."

            "Well what you think I believe and what I really do, have no bearing on this." He retorted angrily. 

_~ ~ ~ ~_

_Pressed up against the glass_

_I found myself wanting sympathy_

_But to be consumed again_

_I know would be the death of me._

_~ ~ ~ ~_

            "You love her don't you?" She asked spontaneously.

            "Sara. We're friends. We've been friends for 10 years."

            "It's so obvious Grissom."

            "Something that's not there can hardly be considered obvious." He could see her eyes watching his every move. He could feel them burning holes into his soul.

            "You are saying, in the ten years you have known Catherine, you haven't had one sexual thought about her?"

            "Sara, that's an unfair question." The wheels in his head began turning; thinking of any possible way he could get out of the situation.

            " Wake up Grissom…see the big picture. Just admit it, you like her." 

            "Sara--- "

            "Grissom, what's Catherine's favorite food?"

            "Lasagna, and a glass of red wine."

            "And do you not frequently go over to her house for breakfast?"

            "Yes. I do. But why is this important?"  His impatience was growing thin, as well as his will to keep his feelings a secret. A few more questions like this and Grissom might have to tell Sara what had happened.

            "Just one more question- I promise. What does Catherine know about your past? About you?"

            "You mean about my mother?"

            "Yes."

            "She met her once, a long time ago. At a dinner."

            "Grissom. Now that you have told me all that, can you still possibly deny that you have feelings for her?"

            "Sara…I do—"

            "You're friends with me right? Do you really know that much about me? Have you ever bothered to learn? You couldn't even remember that I am a vegetarian!"

            "Sara, I have known Catherine for a long time. Longer than I have known you. There are certain things that you just pick up."

"Fine Gris. Fine. Deny it all you like.  But it is written all over you face."

            "Stop analyzing so much."

            "She wasn't sick was she?" Grissom started to reply but Sara waved her hand in his face to keep him quiet. "You two had a fight didn't you? I thought I saw her car in the parking lot…." 

            "She was upset, about the case. She wasn't in any shape to drive herself so I drove her home…" Glancing up from Sara's gaze, Grissom saw a doctor push open the surgery doors. "Stop…wait…" 

_~ ~ ~ ~_

_And there is a love that's inherently given_

_A kind of blindness offered to deceive_

_In the light of forbidden joy_

_Oh I know I won't receive it._

_~ ~ ~ ~_

            Grissom stared at the doctor. Blood. Blood all over. It's not as if he hadn't seen it before, but this was different. This was Catherine's blood.  And by the looks of it, it was a lot.

            "Uncle Grissom! I am back!" Lindsey latched onto his leg tightly, candy bar in hand.

            "Not now, go see Aunt Sara ok?" he motioned her in Sara's direction making sure she was out of ear shot before he spoke.

            "Catherine Willows, how is she?"

            "Stable for now at least. Are you family?"

            "I am her bo…eh her friend. That's her family over there."  Lindsey was swinging her legs back and forth while in the chair. Nervously she munched on her candy bar, as if she knew something was wrong.

            "Oh, I see. Well, all I can say for now is that she's stable, but not out of the woods yet. We nearly lost her on the table. It seems your friend has an extraordinary will to live Mr…."

            "Grissom. Gil Grissom."

"Mr. Grissom… Ms. Willows, as you probably know was unconscious when EMT's brought her in. We assessed the situation, and she underwent surgery an hour ago. My team stabilized her left leg, which was fractured in two places; she also suffured from three cracked ribs, a dislocated shoulder, and sustained some minor cuts and abrasions. But these problems are not my main concern." Cryptically the man spoke, masking his words in euphemisms. 

"What is your main concern?"

"During impact Ms. Willows sustained a fairly severe blow to the left side of her head, damaging the left temporal and cerebellar regions.  Mr. Grissom, she's in a coma."

_~ ~ ~ ~_

_When all we wanted was the dream_

_To have and to hold_

_That precious little thing_

_Like every generation yields_

_The new born hope unjaded by the years_

_~ ~ ~ ~_

            Machine's everywhere.  Beeping slowly, rhythmically. Tightly she gripped his hand, so hard it made his knuckles turn white. Under one arm was a small white teddy bear and in her hand was the remnants of a half eaten Hershey bar. So quiet. So still. It couldn't be her. No. This was not the mommy she knew. Not the mommy who took her to the park, or helped her with homework. This wasn't her.

_~ ~ ~ ~_

_You know if I leave you now_

_It doesn't mean that I love you any less_

_It's just the state I'm in_

_I can't be good to anyone else like this._

_~ ~ ~ ~_

            Lifelessness hung in the air. The sterile smell of the hospital dulling the world around it.  Catherine appeared so tiny that the bed seemed to almost swallow her whole.

            ~~"**Complications arise quite often in cases of head trauma Mr. Grissom. There is no way of knowing what the affects may be. Problems of this nature can range from difficulty understanding words and short term memory loss, to tremors and inability to walk." ~ ~**

            He knew the facts. The statistics. He was after all, a scientist.But at that moment he wanted to grab her and shake her until she woke up. Force her to open her crystal blue eyes. His first two steps were hesitant, controlled. He was afraid. Scared his touch would make her crumble before him.

            ~ **~ ~ "Can I see her? Can Lindsey see her?"**

**            "Only for a moment."**~ ~ ~

            So fragile; so breakable; so unstable, shattered like broken crystal. His love. His life. Catherine.

_ ~ ~ ~ ~_

_When all we wanted was the dream_

_To have and to hold_

_That precious little thing_

_Like every generation yields_

_The new born hope unjaded by the years_

_~ ~ ~ ~ _

To be continued…..

_A/N: The song is "Wait" by Sara McLachlan. And to all concerning the segment about Grissom's mother. I am using my creative license on that. I was prior to TAIE under the assumption that Grissom's mother had died. Now I am not so sure. But the reference in the story is to a dinner years earlier, when his mother may have been alive. I just thought I would mention that to everyone._

_Also chapter 6 is in the works so look for it soon! _


	6. Room 230

Stay With Me

Chapter 6

A/N:  Well another couple weeks have passed and that brings us to chapter 6. I had originally intended for this to be a lot longer, but then decided to hold a lot of it off to chapter 7. Thanks to everyone.  Angie, Ann, and Marita- for beta'ing/ pre-reading. Angie you do wonderful job. Ann, without your pestering I wouldn't get anything done. Marita, you're the most awesome person ever, and I am honored that you enjoyed this chapter as much as you did. GraveShift Group—I get so much inspiration from you guys. It's nice to be a part of a group that is so vocal, and involved. I love you guys.

Note: There are a few thoughts in this chapter. They are marked with italics. And the song is "Miss Blue" by Filter.

_~ ~ ~ ~ _

Could you, stay long enough, for me to say goodbye

You can be free, as long as you're with me

If you, could see, the real me you'd bleed

If you, could see, the real me I'd breathe

_~ ~ ~ ~_

            He hardly knew the two visitors that had walked into room 230, and yet somehow he could feel their pain. So soft was Mr. Grissom's voice as they spoke, so caring. On the outer surface he showed only a genuine concern; his words neither calm, nor frantic.  But somewhere underneath it lay a mass of guilt and confusion. His eyes reflecting clear blue, near to tears. The doctor could not help but be moved.  

It was a curious gesture, his watching them from the window.  Taking the small child in his lap, Mr. Grissom sat down next to Ms. Willows, but did not dare touch. His troubles seemed to weigh heavily on him, his head hanging low in guilt.

Down the hall, the woman that Mr. Grissom was speaking to walked towards him- followed by three others. His eyes moving from Mr. Grissom's tired figure, and back to the small group, he could only assume they knew each other. Beyond that, his insight into their odd group was minimal. 

_~ ~ ~ ~_

Could you, still breathe, long enough for me

Could you, still be, long enough for me.

_~ ~ ~ ~_

            Warrick, Nick, and Brass had finally arrived to meet a distraught Sara pacing the hallway.  Relieved that her co-workers had finally arrived; she stopped pacing and greeted them.

            "You guys finished?" she asked anxiously.

            "For now…. you seen Grissom?" Nick scanned the room with his eyes as he spoke. Even he was showing signs of wear.

            "He and Lindsey are with Catherine; down the hall in ICU.  I thought it was only fair I let him take her in first."

            "ICU? Cath's in the intensive care unit?"  

            "She hasn't woken up yet. That's all I know for sure. Grissom was the one who spoke to the doctor. He would know more than I do."

"Do you think they would let us see her?"  Nicks' eyes held a concerned expression deep within them, the normally vibrant happiness gone. 

            "Not sure."

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but we are going to get in to see her, even if I have to shoot that doc in the knee to do it." Brass' steps were large, loping strides as he navigated down the hall to where the doctor was standing. The remaining CSI's shrugged and fell in line behind him.

As they stopped in front of the room Sara, gazed at the three still forms present there, oblivious to the conversation taking place around her.

"Hello Dr.-?"

"Jameson."

" Dr. Jameson…Captain Jim Brass. Nice to meet you."

"I only wish it were under better circumstances."

His shoulders were slumped, his gaze transfixed upon Catherine's small unmoving form.

            "Yes, I feel the same way. Your patient, Catherine Willows, she's a co-worker of ours, a friend."

            "I figured as much."

            _His grief seemed to flow through him. His feelings released in a vast tidal wave._

            "May we see her?" 

            "Normally we don't allow more than two visitors at a time."

            _But he didn't know she was watching, observing his every movement, analyzing and categorizing it. _

            "Are you sure?"

            "I might be able to make an exception. Just this once."

            _Trapped inside his own silent reverie. Holding the small child in his arms, comforting her but still somehow comforting himself. It was as if Sara knew what he was thinking and yet at the same time she didn't._

            "Thank you doctor. We appreciate this."  

            Sara felt someone nudging her arm sharply. Standing next to her, Nick gave her a small smile and nodded in the direction of the room. Blushing slightly she entered last, still trapped in her thoughts.

_ ~ ~ ~ ~ _

When do you think, I'll be okay.

When do you think, I'll be okay.

_~ ~ ~ ~_

            "Hey Gris."

            His shoulders tensed as she spoke the words, acknowledging their presence in the room. It was as if in an instant his grief was buried deep within himself.  Turning around, Lindsey still in his lap, he faced them, his face expressionless.

            "Have you talked to the driver yet?"   

            "No."

"I'll go then."

            "No Brass, I can handle it. Sara can you watch Lindsey for a bit? I will be back to take her home in a little while."

            "I can stay with you Uncle Grissom?"

            "I wouldn't have it any other way kiddo." He replied caressing her cheek. Her arms flung around his neck as she gave him a big hug, and soon Grissom had followed suite, wrapping her within his warm embrace.

            "I didn't wanna stay with daddy," she whispered softly in his ear as they broke up their hug.

            Not quite understanding what she had meant, he gave her a quizzical look. Was there something Lindsey knew that he didn't? She continued to look at him innocently; her smile a little bit bigger than it was before.

            "Lindsey, stay here with Sara and Uncle Warrick…I'll be back soon ok?" Lindsey just nodded and slid dutifully off of his lap, her face still holding that semi-strained smile, the one that reminded him so much of Catherine's.              

            A hand landed softly on his shoulder as he began to exit the room. Sara's eyes were fixed upon his as he swiveled his form back in her direction.

"Sara."

"Are you sure you want to do this? Someone could go with you."

"I have to go by myself." He brushed her hand off of his shoulder, heading for the door. She didn't understand. He would have done anything to get out of there—their eyes bearing down on him, wondering what he would do; how he would react.  If only they could see beyond his stone cold exterior, if only they could peer into his soul; they would see what he was trying so desperately to hide from them. From her.

_~ ~ ~ ~_

If I should stay, when do I pray?

If I should stay, where do I begin?

Do you think I should watch you die?

Should we close our eyes, and say goodbye?

_~ ~ ~ ~ _

            The nurse situated at the nurses' station had told Grissom he was to go up two floors to room 423 and there he would find the man he was looking for, Jason Adler. Now, his hand on the door, he stood unsure of what he should do next. His pulse quickened as he remembered why he was standing there. Somehow, someway he had to stay objective.

            "Grissom, you know I can't let you go in there."

            "Brass."

            "Grissom, the last thing I need is for you to beat the crap out of that guy and lose your job."

            "It wasn't something I had planned on doing."

            "Gil, you may be able to fool everyone else, but I have known you too long for you to start playing these games."

_~ ~ ~ ~_

Hey you Miss Blue, You think that I'm well to do  
Hey you Miss Blue, I fell in love with you  
Hey you Miss Blue, I think about you as true  
Hey you Miss Blue, I hate it when you cry  
Hey you Miss Blue, I hate it when you say goodbye  
Hey you Miss Blue, I hate it when you say goodbye  
~ ~ ~ ~

Grissom was shell-shocked. Had he been that obvious that that many people had seen what he tried so hard to cover up?_  
  
_

"You and I, Gil, we aren't really all that different. We would both give our lives for that woman lying down there in that ICU room. So if you're feeling what I am feeling; even an inkling of it…then I would know better than anyone else what you would do."

"Yea." Grissom could only nod, previously unaware of Brass' deep friendship and concern for Catherine it hit him now how many family ties she had created with those around her. She had made them into a family, dysfunctional at times--- yes, but a family nonetheless.

_~ ~ ~ ~_

When do you think I'll be okay?

When do you think I'll be okay?

Hey you, Miss Blue, you think that I'm well to do

Hey you, Miss Blue, I fell in love with you

Hey you, Miss Blue, I think about you as true__

_~ ~ ~ ~_

"O' Riley is on his way.  Mobley thought it best if he took over, though I don't know why… I'll stay here until he arrives. You go. Get Lindsey home. Get some sleep or something, we'll call you if there's any news."

            As if to protest Grissom pushed the heavy door open slightly. The smell of alcohol and vomit hit his nose instantly, his subconscious only now understanding how far from in check his emotions really were.  

            "It's not worth it Gil. Scum like that is never worth it."

            Grissom knew his friend was right. Letting his hand slack from the handle he let go, feeling somewhat as if he had lost his grip on himself.

_~ ~ ~ ~_

Hey you, Miss Blue, I hate it when you cry

Hey you, Miss Blue, I hate it when you say goodbye

I hate it when you say goodbye

You say goodbye

You say goodbye, yeah

Don't say goodbye

Say goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye…  
~ ~ ~ ~

_To be continued…._


	7. I've Lost

Stay With Me 

Chapter 7: I've Lost

A/N: Thank you everyone…this one's up due to persistent pestering from basically everyone I know, and because Mac said she'd post Altoids 8 if I posted, so here it is in all its glory…chapter 7!

_~_

_You haven't seen the world outside for days_

_You sleep, you hope, you wait_

_Imagination disappears _

_And all the dreams you have you save_

_Confrontation like a mirror_

_They try to take your mind away_

_~_

            The clock chimed twice. It was midnight. September 25th, though he could barely recall even that. His eyes stared downward, observing the ripples of amber colored liquid, splashing against the side of the glass in a rhythmic motion. Lifting it to his lips, he took a generous swallow, wiping the excess liquor from his mouth. 'September 25th ', he thought to himself.

            He hadn't seen her in a week. Instead, he'd spent his nights on his couch, at the request of his team, drinking his sorrows away. They must've thought he'd spend his time at the hospital. If he could feel at the moment, he would have chuckled; but the call of the brandy in his glass prevented that.

_~_

_Hey, hey, I don't know but I believe in yesterday_

_And what it means to bleed_

_And know that you're okay_

_Are you waiting?_

_~_

            Placing the brandy glass onto the table in front of him, Grissom laid back onto the soft cushions of the couch, pinching his nose. Migraine it was, and he could feel it pounding in his skull. Luckily, the darkness and quietness of the night provided some comfort.

 Lindsey had gone to sleep hours earlier in his spare bedroom. Lately she had taken to falling asleep on the couch next to him, creating a sort of ritual to which he would followed each night. She loved to bury her head in his lap, and he let her, knowing it was one of the few places she now felt safe. He would stroke her golden blonde hair as she fell asleep, desperately clutching onto him.

 Eventually he would gather her up in his arms, carry her down the hall to his own room, and tuck her under the covers. Grissom knew at some point she would wake up, and by that time he would be next to her, as if he had never bothered to move her in the first place. So on this particular evening, he found it odd, yet soothing that she was able to sleep alone.

_~_

_No matter what you say_

_No matter what you do_

_No matter what, I'm always right there behind you_

_No matter what you say _

_No matter what you do_

_No matter what, I'm always right there behind you _

_~_

            The ringing of the phone, however, interrupted his silence, the one he never bothered to answer anymore.  

            "Grissom…its Sara. Pick up the phone..."

            As he half-listened to her one sided conversation with the answering machine, his fingers once again grasped the glass filled with venomous liquid.

            "I know you're there…pick up damnit! If I don't hear your voice in the next fifteen seconds I am hanging up and coming over."

            He didn't pick up. The room was filled with dial tone for a mere moment before the machine turned off. 

            She was on her way now…he should have picked up.

_~_

_Bombarded by the atmosphere_

_You breathe, you choke, you breathe again_

_Conversation disappears; you realize they're not your friends_

_The panic of the future rears_

_You dig, you jerk, you find another way_

_~_

            Somehow, he thought he would feel something; but he didn't. No amount of lecturing on Sara's part was going to change that.

            Glancing around at the now unkempt townhouse, he decided against trying to clean up. Sara was inviting herself over; she could deal with the mess. No real desire stirred in him to vacate his spot on the couch; his tired form having not the will or energy to move. 

The darkness around him was calming, almost relaxing. Eyes drooped, nightmares danced at the back of his eyelids. They always did. Only now they came at him with greater strength, dashing the previous calm he'd felt.

The door was open, and he didn't bother to answer when he heard her knock softly on it. A creaking handle reminded Grissom that he'd still neglected to fix it. Her tall, brown haired, slim figure loomed just outside of it. Smelling faintly of phermeldahyde and vanilla, she strode in carry a large paper bag.

            "What's that?"

            " Italian take-out. I figured, you, an eight year old girl… You must be making quite a bit of PB&J."

            "I think I'll pass Sara."

            " I always pegged you as a man who enjoyed his Italian cuisine. But it looks like brandy seems more to your liking right now."

_~_

_Hey, hey, I don't know but I believe in yesterday_

_And what it means to bleed_

_And know that you're okay_

_Are you waiting?_

_~_

            She flicked the lamp nearest to her on. Bright light showered the previously pitch-black room. "Grissom, how much have you had?" she asked eyeing the second empty bottle on the floor beneath the table.

            "It seemed like a damn good idea at the time," he mumbled back, forcing his eyes open, the pain stabbing at them like knives.

            "Were you thinking of the eight year old sleeping down the hall when you came up with this brilliant plan? You know, I could've taken her if you really didn't want too." 

There was a slight hesitance in her voice, and she took her eyes off of him for a second. 

            "I thought you weren't good with kids. And I wanted her to stay here…she's…her and Cath…they're practically family…"

            Sara felt her heart drop as he spoke, she could see it in his eyes. The spark that flickered in them as he spoke…of _her._ Was it completely wrong to be jealous of woman lying in a coma?

Getting up from the couch, Grissom headed for the kitchen, his feet padding heavily along the floor. She heard him moving around by the island, clanging pans and rustling papers; papers that were mostly likely the results of his latest experiment.

 Moments later, his shadow reappeared, his cell phone in hand. "Listen if you must."

_~_

_No matter what you say_

_No matter what you do_

_No matter what, I'm always right there behind you_

_No matter what you say_

_No matter what you do_

_No matter what, I'm always right there behind you_

_~_

            "You wanted to know what's going on didn't you? Listen." Never had she heard Grissom like this. The force of his words nearly knocked her over. It glowed; the face of the cell phone that is, and without another word her hand was around it hitting the voice mail button.

_"Gris…I mean Gil…"_

'Tension. Sorrow. Pain. Had Catherine been crying?' methodically, as if at a scene Sara processed and categorized the information. 'Gil…she called him Gil'. 

_"Damnit, why couldn't you just pick up…we uh, we need to talk. About what happened."_

'He lied to me' she thought. Grissom hadn't just dropped her off, something had happened. The pit in her stomach grew at the thought of it. Minor tremors of jealously, grew until her teeth were nearly on edge. 'I never had him…never.'

            _"Please, just meet me…if you get this message I'll be on my way to CSI. We can talk when we get there. I'm so-"_

'Obviously, he hadn't gotten the message. At least not before, it was too late.' Swells of jealousy, pain, guilt, and understanding continued their torment upon Sara's soul. However, she saw Grissom's eyes, the love that reflected in them, mingling with guilt. Never had he expressed such a love like that to her, and she doubted that he ever would.

'Catherine makes him happy.' It was a fact she knew she would have to accept. No sense in her getting angry now; it was over. She'd lost. At least now, Sara knew. The waiting and nights of hoping now would cease. 

"She needs you Grissom."

_~_

_You opened up my brain_

_No I don't feel the same_

_No, No, No…_

_You opened up my veins_

_Well I won't be replaced_

_No, No, No…_

_~_

            "It's not that easy Sara…This isn't another experiment, another body, or bug, or family looking for justice. It's Catherine; I can't face her knowing that if I'd only left my phone on… You never know what you need until you find it…and I just might have already lost it."

            "You'll lose her forever if she wakes up and you're not there."

            _'You'll lose her forever…'_ Sara thought. _'And then we'll both have lost.'_

_~_

_No matter what you say_

_No matter what you do_

_No matter what, I'm always right there behind you_

_No matter what you say_

_No matter what you do_

_No matter what, I'm always right there behind you_

_To be continued…. _


	8. Cause I will Come for You

Stay With Me

Chapter 8:  Cause I will Come for You

A/N: Thanks to the GraveShift Group for all the wonderful encouragement. And to Angie and Marita for betaing this chapter. The song is called "Sell my Soul" by Our Lady Peace.

_~_

_How do you feel?_

_How do you hate?_

_How do you wake up_

_with that smile on your face?_

_~                      _

No one knew she was awake, listening to the deeply private conversation. It hadn't been on purpose; they had woken her up. Now, she could hear them, whispering harshly; words her mother had told her never to say.

"Grissom, go see her damnit. She needs you to be there. You….you have something the rest of us can't offer… She wants to open her eyes knowing that you spent the night waiting by her side. You've got the years behind you Grissom, of knowing her and her life, of not judging her because of it. Be there now when she needs you most."

It wasn't yelling, no, nothing like the shouting matches between her mommy and daddy. 'He must be really mad' Lindsey thought to herself, knowing that her Uncle Grissom rarely ever raised his voice. 

*** "You should apologize."**

"You think you know everything huh?" * 

            The last time she had heard her mommy's voice echoed in her ears. He felt guilty; she knew that. But, he didn't know that it wasn't his fault. Not once had he gone with her to see her mommy. And Lindsey desperately wanted him too.

_~_

_Out on the moon_

_If was an astronaut,_

_could I get back to you?_

_~_

            Climbing out of bed and quietly moving through the hall, she came behind him and tugged the back of his shirt. Startled, he swung his body around to face her, unable to speak.

            "Uncle Grissom, it's not your fault. It really isn't."

            "Lindsey…you're up? Couldn't you sleep?"

            "I heard voices… whispers; yours and Sara's."

            "I am sorry we woke you, but it's late….do you need anything before you go back to bed? A glass of water maybe?" He wasn't exactly sure what to offer the small child, other than a glass of water and a hug before she went back to sleep. She needed so much more, so much that he couldn't give.

            "I'm not tired." She replied, climbing onto the couch, and into the spot Grissom had occupied earlier. Her eyes were bright, and riddled with the concern of someone much wiser than her years. At that moment, he saw Catherine flash before him, in all her flawed yet beautiful wonder.

            "Lindsey, you have school tomorrow."

            "It is tomorrow, Uncle Grissom." Her innocent face returned, a bright smile appearing on her face as she giggled and pointed towards the large grandfather clock across the room, " It's two a.m.!"

            Sara couldn't help but let a small chuckle escape her lips. Lindsey was not unlike other girls of her age, twisting Grissom's words to suit her desire to stay up and listen to an adult conversation; one Sara was pretty sure the girl had already partially overheard. "She has a point, Gris."

_~_

_I'm out of my head_

_I'm out of excuses,_

_So I'm staring at the bed._

_~_

            Sending a cold glare Sara's direction, he sat down next to Lindsey noticing her nose wrinkle up slightly as he did so. This hadn't been the way he had wanted the child to see him; smelling the same way her real father often did. 

            "Why won't you go see mommy?" The question came, in all its fury, as devastating as the fiercest storm. "I want to go see her with you…not daddy. He…he doesn't like her the way you do. They fight a lot. You never fight with her, and she smiles more when you're around. She hardly ever smiles. Besides, daddy's out of town, so you have to go with me. Please?"

Somehow, Grissom knew the little girl was right; in more ways than she could even imagine.

_~_

_And it's you, its you_

_I hold on, I hold on_

_I can't let go_

_And you don't know how I feel_

_Hold on, I hold on_

_I would sell my soul_

_And you don't know how I feel_

_~_

*    *    *    *   *

            An hour later, Grissom had Lindsey dressed and in the car, Sara agreeing to drop the two off at the hospital on her way back to the lab. Grissom knew she didn't trust him behind the wheel of his own Tahoe; he didn't even trust himself. The empty bottle of bourbon still lie on the floor in his living room, ever a reminder to him of his stupidity. 

            Never had he been forced to consider how his actions affected Lindsey, until now. He was her 'uncle', there to shower her with gifts, among other things. At the end of the day, she was always Catherine's child, and Catherine had done a wonderful job with her. Better than she would ever probably admit to. 

But Grissom hadn't. His first attempt at taking care of the child, and he'd drunk himself into a stupor. Crumbling underneath the weight of his problems. Lindsey had held such a brave face through it all, and for that he could have never been more proud. She truly was Catherine's daughter. There was no doubt about it. He on the other hand, in truly his own fashion, had retreated inward, seeking solace within himself, and finding none.

"She knows you're hurting Grissom, Lindsey knows." Sara whispered to him, not wanting to wake the sleeping form in the backseat.

"I know Sara, she's like her mother in that respect." He replied, seeing the bright lights of the hospital ahead. "Always seems to know exactly what I am thinking."

_~_

_I'm losing my heart_

_Losing my pride_

_I'd burn our initials in the sun if it would shine._

_~_

"Sir….sir, visiting hours don't start until nine a.m." 

"Please, may I see her just for a moment?" Grissom flashed the nurse at the desk a pleading expression. In his gut he needed to see Catherine, he wasn't exactly sure why. Something just told him that he needed to be there.

"Just once," she whispered to them, a mischievous smile on her face. She led them down the bright, white halls toward the ICU ward.

"She hasn't been moved yet?"

"Mr. Grissom, your wife's in a coma.  She'll be moved to a private room when she wakes up."

"She's not—" he started to correct her, but stopped himself. Grissom had walked in, Lindsey clutching his hand; the nurse was obviously allowing them to see Catherine because she thought they were her husband and child. "I'm just worried…that's all."

"This way." She waved them on, until they reached a room Grissom had become familiar with over a week ago. Room 230. "Talk to her, I'm sure she's been waiting to hear your voice…" 

_~_

_I need a fresh start_

_I was in heaven until this world fell apart_

_Out on the run_

_Out on this empty space_

_Since all of this began_

_I try, I try._

_~_

'A porcelain doll', he thought as he sat down. That's what she reminded him of. A face so thin and pale that it might break upon his touch. Beauty marred only by the ugly faded bruises on her face. Even now, he couldn't help but find her beautiful.

One beep, and then another, the monitor slow yet constant. Nervously he slipped his hand into hers, careful of the tubes that snaked from the I.V bag to her arm. With his free hand, he swept a few errant hairs from her face, kissing her forehead lightly.

*     *     *     *    *

_Voices. Foggy. Muffled voices, penetrated the cloudiness in her head, many of which she could not distinguish. There was only one she needed to hear. One she had been waiting for_, _the one_ _that gave her strength. But it never came._

*     *      *     *    *

Her hand was cold, and trembling; starting at a twitch, growing more and more violent by the second, arms jerking back and forth. Lindsey's eyes were filled with fear, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"Mommy!"

"Nurse! I need a nurse!"

_~_

_Nothing seems to help and nothing seems to work_

_Nothing is as beautiful_

_I'm old enough to take all the blame_

_~_

An endless stream of doctors rushed into the commotion, as Grissom looked onward, hand still firmly clasped in Catherine's, numb and unable to move. Masses of swirling confusion, blurred his vision, his only focus being the woman in front of him.

"Sir! Sir! Could you step back please? Sir!" 

He felt himself rising from the chair and leaning towards her. "Fight Catherine. Fight… I need you." She was slipping away from him, spiraling farther down, as he released his fingers from hers. 

~

_For all the mistakes, and all the games_

_All the faces_

_I'm bleeding by myself_

_~_

"Wake up Catherine…I love you too much for you to die." He whispered, his body pushing through the barrage of doctors and nurses, and out the door, Lindsey right behind him.

"Don't die," he whispered again. Maybe somewhere, someone above had heard his plea…all he could do now was wait and see.

_~_

_I hold on, I hold on_

_I can't let go_

_And you don't know how I feel_

_I hold on, I hold on_

_I'd sell my soul_

_And you don't know how I feel_

_~_

TBC.


	9. Don't Go

Stay With Me  
Chapter 9: Don't Go  
  
A/N: Has it been two months already? The song is called "Waiting on an Angel" by Ben   
Harper. Thanks to Ann for the inspiration, Graveshifter's for nursing me through writers   
block and encouraging me, Angie for the great beta job Also thanks to Manda for being a   
great friend, constant support, and just an awesome writing partner.   
  
//Waiting on an angel,  
One to carry me home…//  
  
The rest of the nightshift had assembled in the chairs of the waiting room,   
forgoing sleep and other off duty activities for news on Catherine. Grissom had muttered   
something about a seizure; but little else did he tell them, preferring to retreat inward,   
inside his own thoughts.  
  
"You got him to come?" Warrick sent her a thankful glance, and sat down in the   
chair next to hers.   
  
"It wasn't me." Sara replied, nodding towards Lindsey, who had snuggled herself   
up next to Nick. Hands flying rapidly and talking vividly about his life in Texas he kept   
the child occupied, her eyes bright with delight. Sara smiled, her lips curving upward just   
slightly. Nick really did have a few endearing qualities. Not that she'd ever admit that to   
his face.  
  
"Sara? You okay?"  
  
"Huh? Yea why wouldn't I be Warrick?"  
  
"It's nothing really…you just seem...different. Grissom looks…and you look --   
what did you guys talk about while you were over there?"   
  
"Wins and losses," she mumbled back, letting her chin rest in her hands.  
  
Silence developed between the two, filled only by the sounds of ringing pay   
phones and receptionists chit-chatting. Unable to hide his curiosity, he raised a   
questioning eyebrow, but she shrugged it off and let her eyes close slowly.  
  
//Hope you come to see me soon…//  
  
Grissom. He had positioned himself farthest from the group, across the large   
waiting room, and closest to the nurses' station. Warrick was right, Sara too could sense a   
change in Grissom's quiet demeanor. Eyes closed, she could picture his normal routine in   
her mind. His foot tapping, brow furled in deep concentration, he would attempt to   
rationalize the situation. Removing his glasses slowly, he'd lean his head back and rub   
his temples, but say not a word trying to battle his demons from within. Sara hadn't ever   
known Grissom's behavior to change. But moments later, when she opened her eyes   
again, she found him pacing the floor, worry etched on his face.  
  
//Cause I don't want to go alone,  
No I don't want to go alone//  
  
  
  
Grissom counted the scuffmarks he made on the floor as he paced back and   
forth…. 2, 3, 4. He wasn't sure how long he'd been standing, to drawn into his thoughts   
to care. He couldn't let his will waver; he couldn't give up…5, 6, 7. He didn't care if his   
presence alarmed the nurses, their eyes following his every step. He had his mind on one   
thing, and the whispers and chuckles of the nurses could do nothing to stray his mind   
from it. Every footstep marked another moment, a second that felt like an eternity,   
another desire to know that Catherine was ok…8, 9, 10.  
  
//Now angel won't you come by me….  
Angel hear my plea.//  
  
Down the hall, he saw the doctor exit the double doors, snapping off his gloves   
and sighing heavily. Fear ran through Grissom's veins. He was unsure of whether or not   
he should approach Dr. Jameson. To do so would catapult himself into a potentially heart   
shattering situation. He had spent his entire life avoiding them, emitting a persona that   
was calm and indifferent, keeping people at a distance. How Catherine had managed to   
pierce his armor and find a place in his in his heart, he wasn't sure. But she had, and it   
was the only thing driving him forward.  
  
//Take my hand and lift me up…  
So I can fly with thee…  
So I can fly with thee.//  
  
"Mr. Grissom." Grissom never trusted the facial expressions of doctors, and this   
one was no different. Jameson's look, as he approached him, was stern, neutral, and   
unflinching.  
  
"How is she?"  
  
"Ms. Willows had a mild seizure. Not uncommon among coma patients.   
Considering the injuries she's sustained, I expected this. She's stable for now. We'll keep   
an eye on her for the next few hours, and see what happens."  
  
//I'm waiting on an angel,  
and I know it won't be long//  
  
She felt heavy. Pain cut through her haze, shooting through every fiber of her   
being and it awakened her senses.   
  
'I love you to much for you to die…don't die.'  
  
Catherine struggled to get back to that voice. To Grissom. Little by little, she   
could feel the darkness lifting, and her eyes fluttered open, light stabbing at them.  
  
//To find myself a resting place  
in my angel's arms,  
in my angel's arms.//  
  
"May I see her?" Grissom asked as a nurse approached them.  
  
"One moment Mr. Grissom."  
  
Dr. Jameson turned his attention to the nurse while Grissom eyed the doorway to   
Catherine's room just down the hall. His eyes darting around, he searched for a way   
around, first glancing towards the room, then at the doctor, then back to the room. Slowly   
he inched his body away, angling around the now preoccupied doctor, and closer to his   
destination. Once he was around them, he quickened his pace, not looking back until he   
was sure he was safe.  
  
So, speak to a kind stranger  
cause you'll never know  
  
Everything was fuzzy, and for a moment, Catherine started to panic. Her head was   
throbbing so badly that it felt as if it were a balloon, blown up so huge, that it was ready   
to burst. Once again she closed her eyes, for a moment, attempting to recall the events   
that had so obviously landed her in her present situation. But nothing came.  
Ever so slowly, as she opened her eyes again, the room came into focus; she saw   
the bedside table, the chairs, even the IV bag hanging above her. A man, there was also a   
man, standing in the doorway….with tears in his eyes. Looking in his direction, she   
mustered a small smile… "Grissom, hey."  
  
//It just might be an angel come  
knockin' at your door  
knockin' at your door.//  
  
He stopped the moment he opened the door. Blue eyes, filled with fear and pain,   
stared back at him from across the room. Grissom felt the tears forming in his own eyes,   
and did nothing to stop them from sliding down his cheeks.  
  
"Grissom, hey."  
  
"Cat," he replied as he came and sat down next to her. Letting out a small sigh, he   
gently took her hand in his and began rubbing the back of it with his thumb.  
  
"I haven't been called that in years," she muttered back, her eyelids drooping   
slightly. "Not since…"  
  
"I know Cat, I know. I'm sorry…"  
  
//I'm waiting on an angel  
and I know it won't be long…//  
  
"No, I like it."   
  
"No you don't."  
  
"I do when you say it."  
  
Catherine yawned, barely able to stay awake. But she fought off sleep, focusing   
in on Grissom's voice. A smile crept onto her face as she listened to him talk, about   
nothing…about everything.   
  
//To find myself a resting place  
in my angels arms   
in my angels arms.//  
  
Grissom realized Catherine was struggling to stay awake, and for a moment fell   
silent. He ached to kiss her. To take her away from the hospital and kiss away her pain.   
Like the knight on the white horse, prince charming coming to wake up the sleeping   
beauty and ride off into the sunset…  
  
//Waiting on an angel, one to carry me home//  
  
"Mmm…Gil…why'd you stop talking? Don't stop. "  
  
"I won't baby," Grissom whispered to her, stroking her hair. He'd talk for hours if   
it kept her happy. He also knew he should get the doctor, but was unwilling to leave   
Catherine's side.  
  
//Hope you come to see me soon  
Cause I don't want to go alone.  
Don't go alone. //  
  
"Hurts…"  
  
"I know…want me to go get the doctor?"  
  
Catherine tightened her fingers around Grissom's hand, "Stay." She had no desire   
to be by herself, even for a second. She'd been that way for far to long.  
  
//Don't want to go alone.//  
  
TBC. 


	10. Am I Lost?

Stay With Me

By: Allison

A/N: A very big thank you goes out to Laeta—my own personal SwM cheerleader. I think if I had waited longer to post, you would have come and tied me to my chair and forced me to finish this. I know you've waited a long time for this, so enjoy it. Angie—who bugged me almost as much as Laeta, thank you for the great beta work, you're awesome. Manda—Jid, my girl, I know I always thank you, but you always deserve it…thanks for all the support. Truly nothing gets done unless you're around. You've become as good a friend to me as anyone I've known in RL. This chapter's song is "Hold onto the Night" by Richard Marx

Chapter 10:  Am I Lost?

+++++

// Just when I believed I couldn't ever want for more  
This ever changing world pushes me through another door  
I saw you smile  
And my mind could not erase the beauty of your face  
Just for awhile  
Won't you let me shelter you //

Grissom stood outside Catherine's room, as he waited for the doctor to finish examining her. It had been twenty minutes since he'd been rushed out of the room, despite both his and Catherine's objections. The waiting was making him nervous, the uncertainty of it all. He hated that feeling, the not knowing. It was one of the reasons he loved entomology. Unlike humans, bugs were predictable. They arrived at a corpse in a specific manner, and that manner, more often than not, enabled him to pinpoint cause of death, or location. There were no gray areas.

With a person, it was different. The human brain is complex. And in that complexity, allowed for a range of emotions, that could be expressed in thousands of ways.  No one person is alike; no emotion expressed the same way. When it came to reading people, on a scale of one to ten, he was about a negative twenty.

And that scared him.

As long as he'd known her, Catherine had always filled that void for him. She was good with people…no she was exceptional with them. He remembered during the Anderson case, how Catherine had come to relate to little Zach's mother… how she'd sympathized with her. He saw it in her eyes as she led Mrs. Anderson out of the prison.

She could read everyone. Seemed to form a bond with whomever she met, understood them.

He only really understood her. And sometimes he wasn't even sure of that. It seemed almost daily she threw him some sort of curve. Whether it was coming into his office to get an early glimpse at case assignments or just her showing up on the front steps of his town house after shift, alcohol in tow, ready to unwind. Some days he just never knew what Catherine was going to do next. 

On other days, her desires, her thoughts, her feelings, couldn't be clearer. Sometimes she couldn't hide the bags under her eyes, even with carefully applied make-up. He wasn't sure she always wanted too. It was on those days that he offered to drive her home, or invited her to breakfast or for coffee. On the rare occasion they would end up at her house, he'd watch as she packed a lunch and hurried Lindsey off to her bus, collapsing into a heap on her beige, overstuffed couch, moments after the small child had left.

It seemed that Catherine stopped moving, only when she was good and ready. And he was one of the few people fortunate to see that side of her. For rarely was she ever able to show it in public.

// Hold on to the nights  
Hold on to the memories  
I wish that I could give you something more  
That I could be yours.//

"Mr. Grissom?" 

Shaking out of his thoughts, Grissom turned around, searching for the voice that had called for him. A nurse stood standing in the doorway, which he hadn't realized was opened, tapping her nails on the chart in her hand. 

"You can go back in, now, if you'd like. She's asking for you."

"Thank you…. Nurse…" he squinted to see the name on her tag.

"Dantinelli." She offered, smiling.

"Thank you, nurse Dantinelli." He told her, smiling back in appreciation, as she walked away, bumping into Sara as she passed down the hall.

"Grissom! There you are, I've been looking for you, for an hour or so. Where've you been?"

"Here." He stated, matter-of-factly.

"Outside Catherine's room? Why?"

"I was waiting for Dr. Jameson, to finish examining Catherine… I'm about to go back in now." 

Grissom met Cath's tired eyes as he made is his way back into the room. Perplexed, Sara followed, stopping in the doorway, her curiosity turning to shock.

"Oh Sara, can you tell the others that Catherine's awake? I'm sure they'll want to know."

"Sure, Gris," she nodded in agreement, chuckling to herself as she exited. She wondered if Grissom realized how bad his tunnel vision, in regards to Catherine, really was. 

// How do we explain something that took us by surprise  
Promises in vain, love that is real but in disguise  
What happens now  
Do we break another rule  
Let our lovers play the fool  
I don't know how  
To stop feeling this way //

"Gil, whose' at?" Catherine asked him, eyes drooping, slurring her words.

Gil sat back down and took her hand.

"Nobody… sleep, you need rest."

"don' member…"

"I know you don't remember. But let's worry about that later, okay? You need to sleep." He smiled at her, before chuckling. "The nurses will kick me out if you don't get some rest my dear."

At that, Catherine quieted, squeezing his hand as if clinging for dear life.

// Hold on to the nights  
Hold on to the memories  
I wish that I could give you something more  
That I could be yours //

Soon after learning of Catherine's awakening, however, the room was filled with visitors doling out get wells and hugs. Grissom found himself shrinking back into a corner and just observing the actions of his team. Sara and Warrick were clustered at the head of the bed, talking softly, tears slipping down Sara's cheeks. Nick had placed himself near the end of the bed, phone clutched tightly in his hand, undoubtedly phoning Greg and Doc Robbins with the news.

"She's lucky, to have so many people that care about her." Dr. Jameson said, coming up and standing next to Grissom. "I've never seen anything like this…she must be very close to all of you."

'I'm lucky', Grissom replied to himself, losing his awareness of the world around him as he gazed upon her. She was nodding at all of the questions being flung at her, eyelids half open. Shooting a glance in his direction, he moved to her side and slipped his hand into hers.

The action, though subtle, was not lost on the other people standing in the room, including Sara, and she let a smile form on her lips though her heart was breaking on the inside. 

"Cath, you ok?" Grissom asked, stroking her hair. She nodded slowly in reply. "You sure?" he repeated worry in his voice. Again, she nodded, smiling at him as best she could.

"don' member," she whispered to him so softly the others didn't hear it, her eyes drooping further.

"I know, Cath, you told me earlier; I know you don't remember what happened."

Catherine shook her head, "No...don' remember them." She pointed to the group hovering around her bed –her friends, people she had worked with, formed unbreakable bonds with.

"Who do you remember?"

"You…Eddie…Linds…"

"What about Warrick? Nick? Sara?"

"Sara?"

"Yes, Sara."  Catherine shook her head again, eyes filling with tears. 

Grissom felt his heart sink to the pit of his stomach. This wasn't happening.

It just couldn't be happening.

// Well, I think that I've been true to everybody else but me  
And the way I feel about you makes my heart long to be free  
Every time I look into your eyes, I'm helplessly aware  
That the someone I've been searching for is right there  
  
Hold on to the nights//

TBC.


	11. Reactions

Stay With Me  
  
By: Allison  
  
A/N: It's short, but it's chapter 11. The song is "Everything Has Changed" by The Postal Service. Check them out, they rock.  
  
Chapter 11 - Reactions  
  
// Putting all the vegetables away  
  
that you bought at the grocery store today  
  
and it goes fast  
  
you think of the past  
  
suddenly everything has changed //  
  
Lindsey came after everyone had cleared out, and immediately snuggled up next to her mother. Grissom noticed as Catherine's eyes went wide upon seeing her child so grown up. The Lindsey that Catherine knew was nothing more than a toddler. A bundle of pure energy, always having to be looked after- kid-sized overalls always getting dirty, and herself always getting into trouble.  
  
The girls whose head rested in the crook of her mothers arm now, though still very much a child -was so grown up in the eyes of her mother, Grissom was sure of that. He could see the pain that swept through Catherine's eyes as they brimmed with salty tears. Squeezing her free hand, he gave her a reassuring smile.  
  
"Mommy?" Lindsey looked up at her mother with wide thoughtful eyes.   
  
"Yea Linds?" Catherine whispered back.  
  
"You remember me? Right?"  
  
"Of course I do, baby. How could I forget you?" Catherine's eyes connected with his and Grissom saw the tears cascading down her cheeks. And he felt the ones that ran down his own.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
// Driving home  
  
the sky accelerates  
  
and the clouds all form  
  
a gemometric shape  
  
and it goes fast  
  
you think of the past  
  
suddenly everything has changed //  
  
Catherine hated lying. She'd done some questionable things in her life, but she'd never kept the truth from anyone, even when she should have. She told herself it wasn't lying, though-she just wasn't telling Lindsey everything. Withholding something and lying wasn't the same thing, at least that was the way that Catherine rationalized it to mounting guilty conscience.   
  
She looked down at the little girl in her arms-not so little anymore. She wondered where the four years had gone...  
  
******  
  
"Mommy, Mommy!" Lindsey cried as she ran into the kitchen, blonde pigtails flying behind her.  
  
"Hey baby, slow down...I'm not going anywhere." Catherine smiled, ruffling the child's already haphazard looking hair. She still hadn't figured out how Lindsey managed to mess it up so quickly.  
  
"Look what I did today!" Crouching down Catherine wrapped her arms around her daughter and lifted her up. In Lindsey's hand was a large crayon drawing of what looked to be the two of them together.  
  
"Is that me?"  
  
"Silly, mommy, of course it's you!" Lindsey giggled, her face lighting up with joy. "And see, there's me!"  
  
"Well, honey, it's very good. I love it."  
  
*****  
  
"Mom, are you okay?" Catherine blinked as she was back in reality again, Lindsey looking at her with some concern. God-Catherine wished she knew the girl that looked at her with such love and wisdom. When had her little grown up to be so smart?  
  
"Fine..." Catherine mustered a weak smile. "Tired."  
  
She felt a hand brush the hairs out of her face and she when she looked up she saw the same tears in Gils eyes that she felt slipping down her own cheeks.  
  
"I hate this," she whispered using her good hand to brush away the offending tears before hugging Lindsey closer to her.  
  
"I know...Cath, I know."  
  
// Putting all the clothes  
  
you washed away  
  
as you're folding up the shirts  
  
you hesitate  
  
then it goes fast  
  
you think of the past  
  
suddenly everything has changed //  
  
TBC. 


End file.
